I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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