Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
