Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
