i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
