Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
