is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
