but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
