I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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