dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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