careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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