your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
