So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
