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Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
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