Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...