your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.