If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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