All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize