It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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