Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
