im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
