forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
