He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
