Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
