I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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