I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
