I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize