last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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