you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
