He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
