i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize