how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
