I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
