it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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