..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
