She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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