Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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