Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
