Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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