I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
