D3 body, D1 cock
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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