We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
