we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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