plz talk dirty to me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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