He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
