My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
