Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
