batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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