At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
