I must be too annoying 4 u.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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