Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
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guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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