Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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