white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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