i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
