The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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