I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Are we still banned from the library?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
