I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
