Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My ass is underappreciated
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
