i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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