no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
