Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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